Can I tell you a quick story?
I painted a hallway!!! Now if you follow some of my recent posts, this has the making of another therapy session! Hahaha! But instead it was a moment of gratitude. Painting!!!! Ugh! I looked at the roller and the paint and thought oh hell. Here we go again. Lol. You got it. I was afraid of dripping paint on the floor, being sloppy, really making a mess and not painting to someone else’s expectations. I am staring at the roller. Mind going in circles. Then I hear this chuckle from him, and then "nope, not today. No therapy today for you!"
He senses my anxiety without me even speaking it, and then does something absolutely crazy! He takes the brush, dips it in the paint can and proceeds to drip it all over the floor, and then smash it all over the wall getting it on everything and making a mess and making me laugh and all those feelings and concerns leave immediately. I just looked at him and smiled. Smiled big! I kissed him, told him thank you. Wow! What a feeling. Did he just really do that?? Yes he did!! We painted. The whole hallway. The floor had paint all over it, my feet had paint on them. The roller was messy, the door knobs got paint on them and life was beautiful the whole entire time. No stress. No worry. It wasn’t perfect either but it looked good!
I think I am starting to get it. No matter what I do, it will be ok, it will be great. No matter if it is messy, clean, imperfect or perfect. It will be great. No matter what it is that I am doing, it will be great. Period. Let me say it again, No matter what it looks like it is going to be ok. Oh my, can you feel that smile start on my face?
I‘m so grateful to have someone that gets me, that wants to help me battle the inner me, that knows parts of me may be a work in progress, and loves every part of me!
Let me say this again too! I am so grateful!!!
I went to bed that night smiling. Smiling so big I couldn’t fall asleep. Full on, all teeth, giant heart felt smile. That smile turns into a laugh. He already knows, and laughs with me.
Grateful, blessed, happy, full of joy. My life! This is my life. Life can be good to you. Go and get it. Choose YOU!